The end of the semester insanity is upon me at UConn. Do you remember those monster.com commercials from about six years ago? They were shot in black and white and featured children talking about their dreams—except these kids all said things like, “When I grow up I want to file all day,†or “I want to climb my way up to middle management.†The end of the semester often makes me feel this way. (Actually, administration often makes me feel this way, in general, but it is worse at semester’s end). I sometimes joke that I feel like Bartleby, and if you have ever been to my office, you know why. Don’t get me wrong; some folks don’t even have windows, but I have this funny little office at the back of an office with a window that looks out onto a small enclosed courtyard. Thank god there is a Japanese maple in the courtyard that is vibrant green through spring and summer and a brilliant red in fall, because otherwise I look out onto a brick wall with oblique sunlight and blue sky coming from four floors above. That and it’s everyone’s smoking lounge, which is great for redolent ambience.
But I digress. My little office is all right. What I was really complaining about was end of semester and end of year administrative tasks. There’s the personal merit report we each have to complete. Not that there’s any money for merit, but we still have to complete the form. And the kegiatan report for the department. And the data mart report for the dean and provost. And the pembinaan session for using the new digital data mart system. And we must provide an up-to-date CV for the upcoming departmental review. (Thankfully mine was pretty up-to-date). And a report to the Aetna Advisory board, with a budget request for the coming year. And a no-cost extension form for the federal government. And new grant application deadlines, and a rebudgeting. You get the point. These are mostly due between April 30 and May 4, though a couple have more extended deadlines. My students’ selesai is May 3, and grades are due before the May 6 graduation ceremony. So, I will be spending an inordinate amount of time at my computer, writing and submitting one thing or another for the next two weeks.
No sooner are these report done then we have the CWP’s 30th Anniversary Reunion Celebration May 11, the Connecticut Student Writers Recognition Night May 15, and the Summer Institute Orientation May 19. All those things are cool and exciting, but having to organize them makes a part of me eager for them to be over, just because I will worry about their success until they are past.
And then there are the stressed out students coming to office hours. The very sweet girl who broke down in tears and couldn’t explain why. The desperate email from the young man who doesn’t think he will be able to get the courses he needs to graduate. The student who just realized he never filed his plans of study for graduation back in January when they were due.
I really had to exert a great deal of self control a couple days ago when I got an email from University Information Technology Services detailing the elaborate procedure I was going to have to perform on all the networked computers in my office in order to update their network security software. The email stressed that this needed to be completed before next week or my computers would be denied access to the university servers. I thought that maybe this was a phony email—we get a lot of those—but it didn’t look like it. So I called UITS and was told that, Oh yes, that email was for real, and I really did have to drop everything and upgrade my computers or be denied access to the servers. Well, don’t let anyone ever tell you that being an agitating jerk doesn’t pay off, because after a couple of phone calls and a couple of terse conversations, I received an anonymous but otherwise apologetic email from someone in UITS that also granted me permission to upgrade my computers later this summer.
Anyway, I feel like Andy Rooney ranting like this, but it helps prevent ulcers. That and red wine. I hope your end of semester involves less paperwork than mine, and eases you gently into summer.
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